Saturday, 25 January 2020

New year, new me?

Even as I type this I can feel the eye rolling “ugh that’s so cliche - and 20 odd days later than everyone else” creeping in. Even I scoffed as I wrote the title but it’s down now and it’s staying. 

I spent the last day of 2019 sat in the family home with both dogs and my mums husband watching Spectre in front of the TV avoiding social media like the plague to avoid everyone having a good time. 
2019 was a screamer of a year for me for all the wrong reasons and left me physically and emotionally exhausted with a hatred for all men that ever lived - healthy. My friends have spent more hours on the phone to me trying to mend my dented heart and ego than I’ve spent collectively in the gym in 2019, so make of that statement what you will. 
On New Year’s Day when I toddled back to Leeds I whipped out my trusty “365 book” which I’ve had since 2017 and still haven’t filled up and scribbled in some “goals” for 2020. These were:

  1. To get a new job where I can grow 
  2. To run the Leeds 10K in sub 1 hour 
  3. To be in a position at the end of the year to buy my very own house 
  4. To work on myself and be the best possible version of myself (vomit inducing I digress) 
  5. To maybe possibly find someone that doesn’t treat me like a mug (how hard can this be? My friend once joked my dating history is a who’s who of who not to date - tragic) 

I mean, quite vague but it was better than waffling through the year doing a repeat of 2019, which would be incredibly counterproductive to my plan to be a director within a company before I’m 40. 

It’s not even 30 days in to the year and I can already tick off number 1, which saw me last week being offered a new internal role within an area of marketing which I’ve not worked before. It came as a huge shock when I was offered it and I’m not ashamed to say I shed a little tear of happiness to have had something finally go right for me - my ego is thriving from the high.

Today I took the plunge to have my hair coloured something “a little bit more vibrant” (my hairdressers words) which after a stomach churning first few seconds of waiting to see if expectation met reality (it did), I am thrilled with and have taken approximately 50 photos of my hair so far today (this number will definitely rise, along with the Sansa Stark puns I intend to fire out) to show it off to everyone. 

This year is going to be a busy year for me, mostly because I intend to fill my time with my friends and family and not make a total tit out of myself for my best friends wedding by wearing shoes that I may or may not need copious blister plasters to navigate my way down the aisle.

Whilst 2019 left the sourest of tastes in my mouth, I’m remaining hopeful that this is going to be the very best of years; less drama, less stress (I don’t need botox from frown lines god damnit) and a hell of a lot more “sure I’ll be out for that”. I’ve worked incredibly hard to start looking at the positives in situations instead of the negatives, and it may just be the mindset switch but I’m starting to notice a lot more positive things happening - even if they are very minor. A free glass of Prosecco at the hair dressers? Of course. 

2020, I am bloody ready.