Wednesday, 6 March 2019

How I'm Becoming A Better Person

Now I am no saint. I know that, my friends know that, my nan does not know that but that doesn't matter I am the apple of her eye and favourite grandchild so I can do no wrong. 
I can be selfish (especially if there is cake involved in the office, move out the way I'm coming in hot), I can be insecure (hello social media reality) and I can sulk like there is no tomorrow when something doesn't go my way. However, whilst this is (only slightly) cute on my year and a half year old goddaughter, this is not cute on an adult.  
I have recently done a lot of reflecting on what I'd like to get out of this year, and I have drawn together a list of ways in which I am becoming a better person which I think are also, coincidentally, things which everyone / anyone (except Donald Trump & co.) can aim for. 

1. Become a blood / organ donor 
Now, I have been an organ donor for the past decade and have offered up everything there is to offer up when I am gone, but it was only very recently that I went and gave blood. I'm not bothered by needles or blood, so whilst one of my co-workers looked like she was going to faint at the experience, I was happily watching the news on my lunch hour with a needle wedged in to my vein whilst I discussed Top Gear with a lovely nurse. 
The whole experience took less than an hour start to finish (less time than it takes for HD Brows ladies, and we've got time for that, haven't we?), and I gleefully used it as an excuse not to go to the gym that night and instead gain sympathy and much respect from everyone I smugly told about my activities - no browsing River Island on my lunch break today, no sir, I was off making a difference and saving lives. 
A few weeks later I recieved a text from the blood bank to tell me that my blood had gone to a trauma hospital in Manchester, and I recieved a shiny red card through the post telling me what my blood type was which I now tell everyone no matter whether they're interested or not. Signing up is quick and simple for both becoming a donor and giving blood, and it's something which can save a life and make you feel smug : 

2. Ask 
I get it, we all lead busy lives. Being busy almost becomes a competition with people "oh your evening was busy? Well I washed all my clothes for the week, did the weekly food shop, meal prepped enough food to feed a small township and meditated for half an hour whilst soul searching all before Master Chef last night", and I have been one of those people in the past. However, being so caught up in our own lives means we sometimes forget to just ask if someone is okay. 
Recently I saw the advert for the Samaratins asking people to just ask "are you okay?" to someone who looks like they may not be. This struck a chord with me, and I have now started routinely checking in on my friends, whether they look like they need the help or not - you never know the internal battles someone is facing so always be kind, you never know how this may positively impact someone. 

3. Don't hold grudges 
I was / am (nearly retired, nearly) an individual who can hold a grudge or two, but I've recently realised that whilst I'm seething in to my Coco Pops mulling over my grudge, the other person will either not know because I have resting bitch face, or will have moved on. 
I've decided that I am no longer carrying negative energy (very millenial I know) going forward, and that means simply letting go of the bad blood I may have for certain individuals or situations. 
Last year my now ex-boyfriend cheated on me and the anger and resentment bubbled away for months and impacted my mental health to the point that when someone tried to talk to me in a bar I'd curtly walk away and not entertain the chance of speaking to someone. Did this impact my ex and his cheating ways? No, he was probably tucked up in bed (someones bed anyway) sleeping sound whilst I sat up picking over every detail of what had happened and wondering "where the !?!?!?!?!! did it go wrong?" - I've also now stopped stalking his social media so well done me, very adult very grown up.

4. Show your gratitude
My grandmother is the true love of my life, my rock, my lifeline and my world. I love her more than words could express and I get a warm fuzzy feeling inside when I hear her voice over the phone or see her looking out the window when she knows I'm visiting her. 
My nan would probably (definitely) give me the shirt off of her back if I asked her, because she is a naturally loving and caring person and I have decided that I will never stop showing her my gratitude for simply being in my life. 
We always use the phrase "but I thought I had more time" for things. You thought you had more time to get to your mate date on time, you thought you had more time to get the bus in to work and be sat at your desk before your manager walks in, you thought you had more time. 
My nan is 95 years of age, and I know that time is not something I have much left of with her, so I spend twice a week minimum on the phone to her telling her about my week, asking her about her community group she attends and asking if she has heard from her son, my uncle, who lives in Australia and listening to her excitedly tell me about the new ready meal she tried which was actually quite pleasant but still not a patch on what she used to make from scratch back when she could stand that long. 
  Nan, you can't use a basic mobile phone let alone get on to the internet and ever find this, but I love you.