Monday, 31 December 2018


Scientists say that it it takes 66 days to form a habit, which is weird since it definitely didn’t take me 66 days to form the habit of eating half a tube of Pringles in one sitting most evenings.

In 2018, Gymshark released #Gymshark66 which saw thousands of individuals participating for the chance to better themselves and win a years worth of gym kit from Gymshark. 
I watched all of this unfold over social media from the sidelines , too daunted to throw my hat in to the ring with the super toned and super well followed on social media. That all changed for me when the winner was announced however, and it wasn’t a God like social media guru who won , but a girl I could actually relate too. 
Of course, there was some backlash to this decision with the ego driven demanding to know why their mate Tom who smashed his PB in bench press and cut down on #CheatMeals didn’t win. I , however, was bloody thrilled with the winner and decided I may as well have a go this year. 
I am not the fittest, I much prefer sitting down with a glass of wine over group boxing and I refuse to swap basmati rice for cauli-rice , but what I do have is determination. Back in 2007 I had a horse riding accident which left me with a shattered career dream of joining the army or being a professional sprinter, and with an even more shattered body. I attacked physio with reckless enthusiasm, always demanding to know how I could ‘get better’ quicker, something which my surgeon had to repeatedly tell me I would never fully achieve due to the scale of injuries which meant as soon as it gets cold I limp, and my hips would often dislocate until a super surgeon reconstructed them both on a clinical trial. 
Couple all of this with a cancerous cells diagnosis back on july 12th and I became the perfect breeding ground for someone to have every excuse in the world to avoid exercising for the majority of this year. I became someone who would go home straight after work and stare blankly at my tv instead whilst deciding which ready meal to grab. 
Last year I ran the Leeds 10K for charity and the structure and the fact I bloody had to go and prep myself so that I didn’t embarrass myself in front of thousands of people saw me religiously tying up my laces and heading out for a run covered in Factor 50 whilst listening to Kanye West and One Direction. 
I am under absolutely no illusion that I will win this thing, but then again neither was Eddy the Eagle and look what he went on to achieve with a bit of determination. 
It’s always good to have some targets to measure up against, so throughout the course of these 66 days I will be: 

Sign up to Leeds 10K 
As previously mentioned above, this gave me a structure to my exercise which I desperately needed so I’m hoping that this will set the year off in the right direction, and I can hopefully go under the 1 hour mark in 2019. 

Rejoin gym classes 
At the start of 2018 I became one of those smug spin goers who loudly declared how many calories they were able to burn through 45 minutes of hell (seriously, who was I??), however the heatwave of June and July saw me ditching the spin classes in favour of drinks by the canal, and my anxiety over not being good enough returned. 
Spinning is actually one of the only forms of cardio I enjoy (mostly because it’s over bloody quickly and I can pretend I’m in the Tour De France at the back of the room), so I’m hoping resuming this once a week will improve my lung capacity and help build up my leg muscles. 

Commit. Commit. And commit again. 
I’ve already set out a little exercise plan for when I set foot back in the gym on January 1st to keep me motivated and keep me committed. I don’t really believe in weighing myself due to muscle mass and fat mass but what I do believe in is progress pics and hitting PB’s in exercises, so i’m going to be chasing both of these with abundant enthusiasm, similar to when I told my dentist I now floss. 

And there we have it, this is me, Francesca, officially putting my hat in the ring for 66 days of spinning, commiting and hopefully seeing a few results along the way. 


Friday, 28 December 2018

My Goal For 2019

Now I don’t usually buy in to this ‘New Year New Me’ as it makes me feel somewhat nauseous at the levels of cringe it induces in the very pit of my soul, however since writing in a daily journal I have realised it might be slightly less cringe to have some goals to work towards than what I usually thoughts.
Whilst it’s quite easy to put things like “feel better about myself” or “make more of an effort”, it actually took a lot of self reflection on a brutal level to address the below. It’s no secret that I have had the worse year ever in 2018, and various hospital appointments and tablets meant me going to the gym was way off of my priority list – so far off that I’m glad Virgin Active don’t send you a ‘year in review’ of how many times this year you’ve been because I’d be crying in to my bank statement for the foreseeable.
For those of you that are new here or may have stumbled stumbled across my blog through googling “Goal setting new year” (SEO optimisation, take a bow), I have a twin sister who is very fashionable and put together. I’m pretty sure her going to the shops for some milk is more glamourous than I look whilst at work or going out for casual drinks. You ever see those girls in bars or on Instagram who look so well put together that you want to punch them in the face and steal their wardrobe in the night? Yep, that’s my twin. I refuse to stand next to her in full body photos as I look more like Mr Potato Head than the individual that came out of the womb at the same time as her. Chalk and cheese. Black and white.
I’ve decided that 2019 is going to be the year of big positive change for me, and I am #GirlDoneGood’ing it for the foreseeable. Last year I set some unrealistic goals which saw me sat in the bath with a bottle of wine eating Cadbury chocolate and watching Master Chef by February, sacking off the gym and my regime with glee – this is not happening this year, no sir.

1. Less talking more action 
I like to set a good goal. Or a plan. Or a list. I just don’t like sticking to them. I am notorious for going to the supermarket with the best intention written down on the notes in my phone and quickly veering off to a promotional stand in the supermarket when I see Pringles are reduced to £1 (bargain though, am I right??). I am also the queen of not documenting said Pringle consumption in my MyFitnessPal app once I’ve finished scoffing down half the tube whilst watching Call The Midwife and stalking social media for #CleanEating
In steps : less talking more action. It is my aim for 2019 to keep my mini victories to myself and actually do what I’m planning to do. I have a gym regime which I can stick to when I’m motivated, but the first spot of rain and I decide “that’s it I can’t get off the bus” – my gym is indoors, the rain doesn’t stop it from opening, major bullsh*t. 

2. Make more effort 
I love sleep. I love sleep nearly as much as my dog which I love a lot and would step in front of a bullet for him. Due to the above, I have decided that the ridiculous notion of me going to the gym before work (something I tell myself after I’ve bailed on going the previous evening) is just never going to happen during winter. The disappointment I feel in myself when I don’t go in the morning is palpable as I get ready and gets worse when I see people entering work in their cycling kits, smugly drinking on a protein shake. 
I’m going to make an effort to make a sensible structure to my life, and stick to something a lot less harsh than what I was penning in 2018 – did I really hate myself that much? Damn! 

3. More self-love
I am my own worst critic, and when something goes wrong I will sit and mull it over with grim determination to not make that cock up again. I recently heard a saying that would you speak in the same tone as you speak to yourself to a child? The answer is no, and I’m trying to adopt this more gentle approach with myself. 
I’ve decided to stop cancelling on my ‘me time’ in order to please others, and I am working through a routine at the minute of ways to wind down after a stressful day that don’t revolve around a bottle of wine and drunkenly ringing my best friend who lives in The Hague to tell her about how awful my day was. 
I had a few empty drawers in my bedroom after my recent house move, and I’m now dedicating one of these empty drawers to a ‘self love’ drawer (not one of those types of self love drawers, you dirty people), full of face masks, snacks, nice quotes and things which make me smile, like messages from my nan who is the apple of my eye. 

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff 
I am a huge over thinker, and this can often lead me to wide awake in bed at an ungodly hour thinking back to something I did a month and a half ago which haunted me. Usually, this is something so minor that it wouldn’t bother anyone else, but there I am, mulling it over in mind to the point I feel my heart racing. 
Whilst everything else is pretty straight forward, I think this is going to be a longer term commitment of mine to let go of the things that shouldn’t be bothering me anywhere near as much as it should – if it doesn’t matter in a years’ time, don’t sit and think on it a minute longer. 

5. Consistent content 
I’m very fortunate that a while ago, my daily visits to this blog sky rocketed after an article I posted on cervical cancer went semi viral on social media. 
Before this, I would sporadically write as and when the feeling took me; which was becoming less and less. However, after writing that one post I realised my interest in writing had returned and I found myself doodling ideas on to my phone and in my notebook ready to tackle drafting a full piece at a later date. 
I am hoping 2019 will be the year I can make the content I post on here and my social media a lot more streamlined and in synch, and hopefully continue to engage with as many people as possible.

Wednesday, 12 December 2018

2018 : A Year In Review

We have a short 19 days left until I’m stood dancing with my dog in my arms whilst the clock strikes midnight to signal the start of a new year – and thank f*ck for that.

2018 has been the highest of highs and the absolute crushing of lows, and I for one will be downing a glass of wine as soon as it’s socially acceptable to kiss goodbye to this year.

I learnt a lot (most of it not the best), like how to manually drain a washing machine after putting a battery and my headphones in a dressing gown pocket, and how to entertain a baby who wants to throw your phone across a waiting room instead of holding it gently. I also learnt that the best way to get a good table at a restaurant is to tell them it’s someone’s birthday – the more you know.

What I am still clueless on are the male species, how to clear out a utility cupboard without finding a spider and what to do when your fridge freezer goes kapoot and all your food starts to defrost – I am winning at adulting.

Whilst It’s easy to dwell on the crushing lows of the year (which now include a jaw issue from being overexcited about a piece of chicken in my lunch which means I now can’t eat solid food without crying), I’m also saluting the highs which are my amazing bunch of friends.

 As previously documented, I received the news no one wants to hear on July 12th – cancerous cells within the body. This was the most earth shattering experience of my life and I can honestly say I think I would’ve fallen apart if my friends and family weren’t there to pick up the pieces, which included driving to mine late at night when I was having a breakdown in the bath ; Briony, if you ever read this which is unlikely since you have a mini human who consumes your time – I love you. 

My friendship group have become my rock over this past year, and whilst I am a frequent drunk declarer of "No, I am the luckiest person to have you as my friend", I really do mean it whilst also sober. My friends have been here to prop me up through some tragic and some downright hilarious moments this year, and I would be nothing without them. 

2018 was also the year of the first long distance (ish, 10k is long distance to me when the most cardio I've done in recent weeks is walking to the fridge and back to collect my festive cheese and chutney) run, which saw me both wishing it would end and feeling a massive high when I finished which was probably similar to heroin. I also learnt that despite it being a World Cup year, I am still none the wiser on the off-side rule or who the line up of the England football team are day to day. 

 I got hideously drunk at a work trip to the races whilst resulted in me being copious milkshakes from McDonalds which I couldn't carry any further than the train station entrance, and I cleaned enough wine off of my leather trousers to be able to tell you what type of wine I was wiping away and when. 
I went on a hilarious disaster of a holiday which both me and my twin can agree we must do better in future, and I made copious plans for the future. 

I made resolutions, which for the best part I didn't stick to - who has time to make themselves look like a goddess before work every morning? No thanks, I'd rather have an extra 30 minutes in bed. 

2018 : you were terrible. Honestly, terrible. And I'm not trying to sugar coat our break up here because it's not me ; it's you. I'm sorry, but I'm leaving our issues behind me and putting my best Jimmy Choo clad foot forward strutting in to 2019.