Tuesday, 11 September 2018

Top Tips For Dealing With Heartbreak




If you’re reading this post, then I can imagine one of two things. 1: you’ve stumbled across this by accident and are too hungover to click off of it so you’re deciding to keep reading or 2: the title of the post relates to you.
If you are number 2, then I am sorry this is happening to you and I hope you are not currently sat in the dark with a tub of Ben & Jerrys listening to the ‘Heartbreak’ section of Spotify as if it’s going out of fashion.
Whether we want to admit it or not, 95% of us (conservative guess) have been the victim of heartbreak in some form or other. I’m not just talking about the relationship kind which is the first that springs to mind, but any kind of heartbreak. That’s the funny thing about humans, our hearts can feel like they’re physically breaking over a variety of things depending on what you’re close to.
I can confidently say I have felt a variety of heartbreak in my (youthful) 24 years. People tend to scoff at this, as 24 Is relatively young, however I felt the unimaginable grief of losing my dad when I was 9, and I seem to have fallen in to various levels of heartbreak ever since. When I was around 17, my dog died, and I cried that much in the vets that I had a panic attack and another vet had to come in and put me in a recovery position whilst I wailed and screamed over the loss of my trusted friend and ally.
See, heartbreak can be anything. And the one we never like to discuss is often the most common – heartbreak from someone you were dating / in a relationship with / seeing / stalking on social media and found something that made your heart break. We are all guilty of it, and I am not ashamed to admit this has happened to me more than once, but I am now sat in bed watching Long Lost Families not feeling an inch of heartbreak over these boys before.
If you are currently sat in your flat deciding that you’re going on a juice detox, becoming a yoga loving goddess and are going to return to work after the weekend with a radical hair cut then this post is for you : top tips for dealing with heartbreak.

Decide what it is that is hurting
This is possibly something ridiculously obvious, however something that we all overlook. It’s like when you’re a child and a (hopefully responsible) adult asks you where the pain hurts in your leg and you point to the whole limb vaguely, hoping that someone can figure something out from your wild gesturing. It may be that you’re upset over the loss of the potential future, or the loss of a friend, or simply the loss of someone’s presence. Decide what it is that’s causing the hurt, and write that shit down.

Speak to someone
I won’t forget the day that my best friend was sat on my bed in my bedroom whilst I got ready for a New Year party and I told her I had been dumped out of the blue. I caught sight of her face in my mirror whilst I blindly shoved my contact lenses in to my eyeballs and I think her facial expression mirrored mine – what the actual chuff??? Where had this come from??
It helped having someone to talk to, because after I told her everything, and after she had finished fixing the disaster that is my frizz prone hair, she concluded “what a cock.” – Yes, what a cock indeed.

Find something to fill your spare time
For me, whenever I’m stressed I will always grab my trainers, grab my water bottle and go for a run. This was something that I would’ve never found therapeutic if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to run to train for my 10k back in July. The simple task of putting one foot in front of the other whilst listening to some questionable music is enough to clear my mind and fill my body with those endorphins which are usually so sorely lacking after a heartbreak.

Stop picking at old wounds
For the love of God, if you are currently reading this whilst also scrolling through your exes Instagram / Facebook / Twitter / LinkedIn profile, please stop. We are told from a young age that something won’t heal if we won’t stop picking at it, and the same goes for heartbreak. You won’t find closure in the place that caused you pain, so it’s time to unfollow the thing causing you pain and chuck it in the fuck it bucket once and for all.

If all of the above fails, I find that watching Bridget Jones Diary with a bottle of wine and a takeaway can help the situation long enough to help you get enough sleep. Heart ache doesn’t last forever, eventually you do adapt to the loss, no matter how big or small it is. For now, all you have to do is put your chin up, put your shoulders back and find your most kick arse outfit to strut around in to make yourself feel like you are #OwningIt.
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