Sunday, 25 February 2018

Banishing Debbie Downer

Now, I don't know about you, but I am my worst critic. The worst of worst critics. Think of that horrrible short man on Masterchef who always pulls apart everyones food, and that is me. 
That inner Debbie Downer is one mean cow, and boy does she like to be vocal. 
She's there every time you catch a heel in a pavement crack wilst rushing to work. She's there when you cave and get a Fat Friday at work (fish and chips, i'm lookin' at you), and she's definitely there at night when you're trying to catch some zzz's. 
However, I am on the quest to banish Debbie to the cupboard unde the stairs and firmly wedging a chair under the door. We are all so critical of ourselves that we begin to trust these thoughts, and ignore all the postive phrase which comes our way from friends, colleagues and your nan. 
In a bid to not spend my nights in a cold sweat going over the time I waved to soeone who was waving to the lady behind me. 
2018 is the year that I am instilling some ground rules for me and Debbie in 2018. 

1. Stop dragging up the past, Debbie. 
No matter how much we may want to, we can't change the past. 
Have a really great comeback which you wish you used when the office dragon belittled you in front of your office crush? Take a breath and chuck it in the fuck it bucket (or save it for when she comes at you again, you do you), but do not dwell on it. 

2. Cut yourself some slack. 
So, you ran 5km and hit your new personal best. You're feeling good, better than good even. Those endorphins are carrying you on their backs, and you feel great relish in smugly telling Janet at the printer about it whilst sipping your green tea. 
"Oh that's great" Janet beams, guzzling on her triple shot, extra hot skinny caramel latte "I can do it in x." 
Was that the sound of your endoprhins throwing you off their backs and running away screaming? Or just the sound of your heart shattering? 
You see, smug Janet does in fact enjoy the odd triathlon. Her idol is 'the quicker Brownlee' and she has a weekly balance to blow on Sweaty Betty. She enjoys brunching 'with the girls' and goes to weekly spin classes with Susan from accounts. You return to your desk, dispondant and scowling at your green tea. 
Forget about smug Janet for a second and focus back on you, you who have just smashed your PB. Stop looking at others and their journeys, you are not on the same path as them, and you are doing the best that you can. 

3. Pick some realistic goals. 
It's all well and good deciding you want to set some goals, but if that goals in to run a marathon in 8 weeks whilst wearing your Adidas NMD's with 0 training behind you, then you're going to end up bitterly dissapointed when you collapse at mile 8 with what feels like your aorta rupturing. You find yourself on the floor, screaming at the paramedics that you'll be okay if they could just source you some Jelly Babys - you saw this on a questionable blog which you have since taken that as a solid enough reason to buy 20 packets. 
You need to make your target SMART (See, my Business Studies degree wasn't a total waste); 
Agreed upon 
Time orientated 

4. It's okay to have set-backs. 
Just because you didn't go to the gym for a week doesn't mean that you're going to lose all of the training that you did, the same way that having a pizza isn't going to make you pile on the pounds from 'bad' food. 
You are allowed to have time to yourself, and time to enjoy yourself also. You might see those fitness people on Instagram smashing a salad on Christmas Day, but that's up to them, and it's not a reflection on you if you don't do the same. Life doesn't always work the way in which you planned, and if a hot date asks you out to an Italian restaurant on the night you were due to go to the gym and train legs; just ask yourself this - what will I be having as my main ; lasagne or pizza?

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